From: Salsomaggiore Terme
To: Modena (via Parma and Reggio nell'Emilia)
Miles: 58.0 (1,300 ft. of climbing)
Miles Completed: 128.5 (2,100 ft. of climbing)
Lunch: Assorted from local markets
Dinner: Ristorante Fini
Accommodations: Hotel Milano
Today was the perfect touring day. We woke up at 8am and had breakfast at our hotel (apparently breakfast is included in the room rate for all Italian hotels) - it was a beautiful spread of cheese, meat and fresh pastries.
We rode east out of Salsomaggiore and headed up into the hills, choosing to take the shorter, more direct route which was much hillier and very scenic. We climbed for 10 straight miles to the castle town of Tabiano and met up with an ex-racer from Parma who was cycling home and he helped us with our direction back to the main highway (via Emilia). We did most of our climbing in and around Tabiano as the ride was mostly flat for the rest of the way. We stopped for a drink in Parma, a nice city where we will be crossing back through and staying in later in the trip. It's Sunday, so the city is pretty quiet except for a big street fair where we grab a quick bite of bread with tomatoes and basil -- pretty tasty -- the tomatoes here are great and taste "just like candy", according to Dr. Ed.
We journey east out of Parma and decide to stop in a street fair in Reggio for lunch (yes, the Reggio of Parmesan Reggiano fame). I strike up a conversation with some people selling cheese and meat and they keep breaking off cheese samples for me to try - INCREDIBLE. I was stopping there for meat so I asked for salami and they start cutting me slices to eat! They love the story of our cycling journey and give us some meat as "un regalo" -- a gift -- for our journey. Very nice people. They don't speak good English but I was still able to somehow get across the joke we were journeying to Modena for Pavarotti's funeral in Modena (which was yesterday). Dr. Ed and I grab some bread, he buys a tomato and we sit on a bench and eat, cutting pieces of bread, cheese, meat and tomato to make sandwiches. SO GOOD.
We decide to call ahead to Hotel Milano to confirm our reservation and make sure our room has two beds – they assure us we’re all set in broken English. We arrive in Modena mid afternoon and check into the hotel. I’m immediately reminded of the classic British sitcom Fawlty Towers as life imitates art (actually, the show idea originated from the Monty Python casts’ stay at a horribly run hotel in England so perhaps it’s more life imitating life).
There are two bumbling attendants behind the desk who start booking our reservation like Frick and Frack. We ask where to put our bikes and they stare at each other “dis is our first week on da job” they say. Frick decides to call the manager. I ask Frack if there is anywhere in town to watch American football. His eyes light up as he seems excited by the challenge of figuring this out – he darts out of the room to talk to the manager about it (yes, the same manager Frick is on the phone with about the parking). Frick tells us we’ll need to park our bikes in the garage for €5 each (the same price as a car) – while it seems ridiculous on principle, it’s not that much money so we agree. Frack comes back and says I can use the large TV in the common lounge to watch the game. This opens a whole new list of questions – I just decide to drop it. Needing to use the bathroom, I head up to the room as Ed secures the bicycles in the garage. I enter the room and dart to the bathroom as I’m about to burst – I see there’s only one bed but on further inspection it’s separable into two twin beds. I head downstairs to tell F and F we need another set of sheets. Upon hearing that we only had one bed they both hit their foreheads with their palms almost in unison and apologize profusely. Frick pulls out the room matrix and Frack looks over his shoulder – they start to confer. Frick shakes his head and calls the manager again. He hangs up and says “great news, you don’t need to pay for parking in the garage” – they should change the name of this place to Hotel Non Sequitur. More whispers from F and F and they finally reach a consensus. They circle our name in the matrix, draw a line across to a new room and Frack hands me the key with another apology, a confident smile and a “bonjourno”. Ed emerges from the garage and I explain the situation. He heads to the new room while I run upstairs to get my stuff from the old room and back down to give the old room key back to F and F. I enter the new room – same situation – one big bed, but separable into twin beds – except now the room and bathroom appear 50% smaller. My head drops. Ed is in the bathroom already taking a shower so I head down to attempt to get another set of sheets (again). Frack can’t believe it. “Dis is our first week on da job”, he says again. Another F and F conference and another combined analysis of the (mostly empty) room matrix. This feels like the Twilight Zone and Groundhog’s day wrapped into one. Frack grabs another room key and I start laughing at the thought of another new room. He motions for me to follow him. We go to another room on our floor and he opens the door. Two beds – “PERFECTO, I’ll grab our bags”, I said. He looks at me and says, “no, we just take’a what you need’a from here”. I almost fell over. We grab the sheets off one bed and extra towels from the bathroom, etc. We head back into the hallway and he starts running upstairs with the sheets. I ask where he is going and he says “to’a your room”. I explain our room is on the same floor. He laughs and says (all together now…) “dis is our first week on da job”. I laugh and try to take the sheets from him, motioning that I’d take care of making the new bed. Frack would have none of it. He insists on making up the new bed and we enter the room – Ed emerges from the bathroom in a towel and the “uncomfortable” meter hits red alert as there’s barely enough room for the three of us to breathe. Frack says hello to him as if they were just chatting in the lobby. I almost laugh out loud at the ridiculous scene. Frack makes the bed and I try to assist – he motions me away – when he’s finished one corner of the bed is sticking like 9 inches up in the air because he concentrated all the excess sheet into the one area – the comedy won’t end. I’m not sure he’s ever made a bed before – then again, it is his first week.
Dinner at Ristorante Fini was incredible. Top shelf food and service. I had homemade tortelloni and pork wrapped in bacon (can’t beat fat wrapped in fat).
Bed time:
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